Lucky

Wow. Heavenly Father is in tune. Even when I feel I don't deserve it. I was feeling lonely, sad, guilty, hopeless (yes welcome to the pity party thrown by yours truly ;) I DO love a party! Ha ;)) It's 1 AM. I can't sleep. I was exhausted at 9 pm, yet here I am...Lola started crying. She is usually a pretty good sleeper these days, waking up semi-frequently, but I usually make her self-soothe (thank you all the critics & self-proclaimed baby experts at work). FYI i DO sneak in & give her back her bink & tuck her in-take THAT! And it works too-quickly might I add! I'm up, why not? Tonight I went in & held her. Yes, my little manipulative princess immediately stopped crying. Tonight, I think she knew her mommy was the one that needed to be held & loved. I am so grateful for my kids. What blessings. They enhance every area of my life, they bring out the best in me, & make me want to be a better person. I pray that I can find that in a husband & partner one day. For now, I am grateful & happy with the fact I have a lil best girlfriend. She belly laughs & her face lights up when she sees me. I need that. I ADORE her. Every single part of her is so beautiful & pure perfection. Her painted on baby doll lips, her perfect chubby brown body, her 11 (yes count them) dimples all over her head & neck. She makes me feel so loved & special. She likes me near her all the time. She smiles when I look at & talk to her. Heavenly Father has given me my best girlfriend in her.
And my perfect little man Tate. My dream come true of a boy. He has the most enchanting smile, charming personality, heck he can get away with pooping his pants & I still adore him! ;) He is sensitive, loves to laugh, is thoughtful, funny, silly, so handsome, tons of fun, loves to snuggle, & enlightens me to all the fun details of being a boy. While I can't sword fight with him over the toilet, he still likes me. We may not always see eye to eye, but we always end the day with a little Goodnight Moon, scripture story, hug, a back tickle, a  request to "Sing me song Mommy," a  prayer, & a lippy kiss. I quiz him before bed: Are you my sweetheart? Are you the cutest & sweetest boy in the world? Does Mommy love you more than anything in the universe? Yes, yes, yes he giggles. Sometimes I make him tell me I'm his favorite mom, & I'm pretty haha! Bobby thinks I'm ridiculous. Sometimes a girl just needs to hear it yo... I melt when he tells me he loves me. His face is sunshine to me. I see my family in him & I love it. He has some of my qualities & habits, which in him are actually quite endearing & adorable.
So how can I be sad when I have the perfect man & the perfect girlfriend? When I take a minute to appreciate those facts, I'm not!  Thank you Heavenly Father for your tender mercies & immense blessings! I will try harder to appreciate them every day.